surfacing

Dec. 28th, 2012 09:02 pm
aesc: (umbrella on a sunny day)
[combination of two posts from LJ since I'm an idiot who can't make Semagic work]

Well, it's a year later and I feel like a shit friend. Things got to the point where I'd been away so long, and it felt like it would be weird and uncomfortable beyond words to go back when everything's changed and people have moved on, and I would be stuck trying to get back the friends and conversations I should never have given up in the first place. It's one of the things crippling depression does to you, but it still feels like a very bad excuse.

The past 365+ days have been very eventful. I got an actual job that pays real money (in my field, more or less) and moved from my very tiny town to a very big city. My depression still lurks, but I've been busy enough that I can avoid thinking about it. In my work capacity I got to see siriaeve and torment her for a few days, which I haven't done in a very long time. One of the hardest things I've had to do this year is leave Finn behind, because he would not be happy as a big city dog, stuck in a tiny apartment when he could have a big house and a yard and his best friend for company. At the moment I'm home on winter break and I've been taking many pictures of him and forcibly cuddling him.

Part of me wants to come back, but it's just very weird, seeing as I basically exiled myself. Tumblr alarms me. I'm casually writing (and should be finishing) XMFC fic, although I'm also still trying to catch up from not being able to write for three months, thanks to severe repetitive strain that has (for the moment) been subdued by wrist braces and steroid shots in my elbows. But god it sucks when you write for a living and can't write... and then remember that, once you've fallen behind on writing, you will never in a million years be able to catch up.

I decided to go ahead and get myself a Tumblr (again). It's got one whole entry and you can look at it here. What I'm going to do with it, I have no idea, but feel free to friend/follow/whatever.

The reason my URL is theletteraesc is that some jerk just took 'aesc' and has done nothing with it. And may I just say, I find that incredibly irritating, considering that I'm aesc everywhere else in fandomland.

hey

Nov. 14th, 2011 11:16 pm
aesc: (Default)
So, yeah, I've not really been around much lately. My life this past year has more or less been a total fail, and even its successes haven't meant much. Mostly I've spent the year being severely depressed and self-isolating, even for a person with severe depression, and since everything I would have posted after December would have been along the lines of "My life sucks and I want to die whine whine moan complain," I honestly didn't see the point in posting much. Or, you know, at all. On the bright side, you've basically been spared a year or so of whiny, useless posts.

I have my doctorate now, for what it's worth, and that's about it.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the vast majority of the energy needed to do fandom the way I'd been doing it, and while I miss the community, I don't really miss the wank and the drama and the demand to keep producing stuff to feel like a worthwhile person. I've kind of moved on over to AO3 and dabbling in XMFC fic (don't even get me started on SPN, please), but mostly as a distraction from finishing my dissertation and trying not to think about what I'm going to have to find to do with myself.

This was not the "this is my first post back" post I planned on making. I don't even know if I will be back, in any meaningful sense.

But hi anyway. I hope you all are doing well and are happy.
aesc: (cas - look away)
Is this amazing or horrifying?

Paradise Lost to become ass-kicking 3D action film, as God intended

In news that sounds vaguely like a throwaway joke on an episode of The Critic, John Milton’s epic 17th-century poem Paradise Lost will be transformed into “an action vehicle that will include aerial warfare” to be helmed by The Crow and I, Robot director Alex Proyas, most likely in 3D. That added dimension will help to flesh out Milton’s underlying themes about the nature of sin and free will—by which we mean turn them into a story about devils and archangels kicking ass, occasionally through aerial warfare.

I'm torn between rolling my eyes, LOLing forever, and desperately wanting to see this. The actual action part is fairly thin in most of Paradise Lost, because Adam and Raphael spend a lot of time talking about angel sex and the nature of the world, but Eve is ready-made for a brainless piece of arm candy, and dude, devils and angels kicking ass, so there's that.

Castiel would probably be severely irritated, and contemptuous when the angels are nowhere near as badass as he is.


Also I am probably going to be around here posting fic, art, and other random, unimportant shit for the next couple of months. It's work and postdoc app season, and I want to barf all over my computer just thinking about it.

turkeys!

Sep. 15th, 2010 09:21 pm
aesc: (umbrella on a sunny day)
Those of you who have known me for a while know that I have a very great fondness for turkeys. Specifically, the wild turkeys who live near my parents' house, and who are also the inspiration for my SGA turkey!verse (see links above, and yes I know I am insane). Usually they disappear during the summer, although I did see lots of adorable baby turkeys (turklets?) this year, and return in the fall, once turkey season starts. I think they know the area around the house is private property with no hunters allowed.

Anyway, here they are on their daily afternoon parade down the street. John is in front, confidently leading them up to Highway 109.



ETA!! Forgetting things left and right... You all really REALLY need to check out twentysomething's totally amazing and in all other ways perfect AU, Excerpts from Carver Edlund's magnum opus. It's a Bones/SPN fusion in which Cas is the forensic anthropologist, Dean is the FBI agent subliminally and pathetically attracted to him, and soon-to-be Dr. Shurley writes pervy stories about the two of them. GO AND REAAAAAD.

lolarity!

Sep. 14th, 2010 08:45 pm
aesc: (cas - look away)
BRB, loling foreverrrrrr.



Hey, if Hell's good enough for Crowley, it's good enough for me.

(from Ausiello. No spoilers unless you watch the 6.01 trailer.)
aesc: (murderous rage)


WHY CAN I NOT FUCKING STOP SNEEZING. HATE YOU ALLERGIES HATE.
aesc: (Default)
.podifc: Below skyscrapers (Dean/Cas) R | 3:32:34
OMG OMG OMG YOU GUYS, the totally awesome [personal profile] podcath has podficced Below Skyscrapers, all 32,000 words and three and a half hours of it! You can read the original here, and below you can find the links to the mp3 and m4b versions at Jinjurly's site. I did the cover as well.


mp3 (286MBs) | m4b (305MB)


Full-sized version of the artses:

Below skyscrapers )


On Sunday, as some of you may know, Misha Collins kicked the highway's ass and ran 83km (that is like almost two marathons, you guys) to raise $94.7k for relief efforts in Haiti. While he was doing that, I showed my support by re-watching Stonehenge Apocalypse and drawing stuff. I originally posted them to my Twitter pic account thingy here and here.

Daleks and ponies and Mishas! )

psa

Aug. 25th, 2010 11:00 am
aesc: (pink stormtrooper)
When making coffee, it is best to put coffee in the filter basket before pressing 'Start.' If you do this, you will have a pot of hot coffee instead of a pot of hot water.

The more you know.

In other news: It is so unbelievably gray and windy and wet and miserable here. I want to build a pillow fortress and hide inside it with my fun new books (Hunger Games trilogy yay) and some hot chocolate.
aesc: (Default)
The thing with feathers (Dean, Sam, Cas; AU/AR) PG | ~22,170
The at-long-last-completed SPN/My Neighbor Totoro fusion. I started this ages ago, but the second part refused to cooperate for me. Eventually [personal profile] bmouse came along and was awesome above and beyond the call, and in return she asked if I'd finish this. I agreed, and after wrestling it for months… I did! *hugs for Mouse* Hope you like it!

If you haven't seen My Neighbor Totoro, I really recommend that you do. It's my go-to movie when I need cheering up. That said, this isn't a particularly cheery take on the story – it's SPN after all – but it's pretty fluffy for me, and that's saying something.

The thing is huge, living, old and a lot of other things Dean's nine-year-old brain can't quite wrap around, like it's been there forever and the entire forest grew up around it. All the other trees crouch at its feet, the oak standing head and shoulders taller than the rest of them, the crown spreading out and the breeze tugging it this way and that. )
aesc: (umbrella on a sunny day)
Breaking traveling-imposed silence to say: I'm finishing up my [community profile] help_haiti art now, and so I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring for [community profile] help_pakistan. The general information post on donations and bidding is here, and the links to my comments are below. Check out the comm's main page for more.

Comic for SPN. You pick the characters and a prompt. Because of the medium I work in, things must be canon. I prefer Dean/Cas slash or gen; no Wincest. MINIMUM BID: $15, with $15 per additional page. I'll match up to $60, though.

Cover art for your SPN, SGA, Merlin, or HP fic. My only real limitation is, on the SPN and HP, no incest (no Wincest, Twincest). Please email me your story (assuming you win), and I'll whip something up! MINIMUM BID: $20

Go, go, gadget fandom!



(PS: Have settled back down, finally, after much traveling and work. Now to catch up...)
aesc: (murderous rage)
... in addition to the book I was interested in getting turning out to be kind of lame.

1.) On the way to the bookstore I got stuck behind a guy with a Tea Party bumper sticker on his car. Like, I am all for fiscal responsibility, but not when you use it to (badly) cover your poor butthurt white privilege, buttress your arguments for it with arguments like "Obama's the one who got us into this war that's costing us so much money," and are guilty of voting for the same senators and congresspeople who you feel have ripped you off over and over again. To pile more depressing on top of that, I got stuck behind this moron for about twenty minutes, waiting for a traffic jam to clear.

2.) When I was going up to pay for my consolation notebook (no way was I going to drive forty-five minutes and get stuck behind a Teabagger and go home emptyhanded), these two teenage girls came in. One of them said to the other "Oh, I can read; I just choose not to." Cue apoplexy.

Someone hold me.
aesc: (Default)
I've been down for the count for the past couple of weeks, but one of the good things is I tracked down a bunch of new music to add to my collection, and was able to finagle some of the blues stuff into a mix. "Blue Highway" is a bit different from the previous blues collections; there are some different versions of old songs (seriously, check out Bessie Smith's "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out") and some instrumental, especially guitar and harmonica. I hope you guys enjoy it!

The mix is a bit looser in conception than some of the others I've done. The general theme is life on the road, eventually focusing on Dean, Sam, and Cas down and out as S5 draws on.



nobody knows you when you're down and out )
aesc: (Default)
Praise the Lord (and pass the ammunition) (Dean/Cas) PG13
This is my [profile] spn_j2_bigbang cover art, for [personal profile] nekomitsu's fic, which you can read here! There's Dean, crazy and confused angels, fallen!Cas, and a lot of hamburgers.



Praise the lord and pass the ammunition! )
aesc: (dean/cas is sacrilicious!)
Happy birthday, 22by7!



HE IS JUST SAYIN'.


In the past couple of days, craziness and, wtfbbq, depression/desire to hermitize have descended. Along with a shelf full of random crap, and that descended on my head. Sigh. Will try to post fic next week, though!
aesc: (Default)
O hai thar. It's been crazily busy here, chez Aitch, between writing and finishing research and packing and getting ready to move hurray! and running and more writing. And it's been good. Really good. Thinking about my life this time last year, and then today, there's some huge, terrible weight that's vanished in the interim, some time between Things have opened up, and it's like taking Finn to the park tomorrow to swim will be another good thing to add to the list, not a temporary escape from horror.

Fannishly, lots of things are happening: I'll be guest-reccing at spnroundtable throughout June, and will be part of Lass's Castravaganza. And, maybe, Dean/Cas BigBang. Tonight, though, I'll be working on my BigBang art and trying to get that wrapped up.

Workishly, things are going pretty well. Mostly a lot of time has been spent at the copier, and harassing people to let me borrow a book so I can photocopy an essay. In between times, I've been reading about Anglo-Saxonism and race in 19th-century America, and it's horrible and depressing as hell, and I gradually become more and more uneasy with the possibility that an ever-thinning thread is the only thing supporting us above the abyss that is a return to 1859.

And lastly, just because....
love meme
aesc: (Default)
So, yes, I am sure most of you have seen the screenshots from Misha Collins's Stonehenge Apocalypse. I fully anticipate it will be horrible, possibly the kind of horrible that, through some impossible chemistry, will transmute into inadvertently awesome. I mean, Misha! Torri Higginson! Come on! This will also mark a temporary break in my informal boycott of SyFylis.

As I said, I'm sure most of you who care have seen these already. WELL, I AM SHOWING THEM TO YOU AGAIN. Why? Because... well, why not? Also, architeuthis has made the very salient observation that Misha here looks a lot like Cas from Freedom hangs like Heaven, right down to the amulet. After consulting the shots myself, I have to say I agree completely. Check it:



♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


oh Misha, the things you compel me to do )

.in other news: I ran outside today and paid the price. The heat was a fucking sledgehammer (92 DEGREES WHAT THE HELL), and I really wasn't ready for it; I had to quit two miles in, and stagger back to the safety of the A/C and the gym, where I'd stashed my bookbag and things. Then when I arrived and swiped my card to get back in, I got lectured for wearing a tank top into the gym, and I was sweaty and disoriented and snarled back that I was just in there to get my stuff, I wasn't going to go smear my sweaty shoulders and cleavage on the workout equipment. I got an apology, and immediately felt bad for growling. But, I mean, I was red-faced, disheveled, and shaking, and I'd think that would be enough to say "this person's busted her ass already, she's not going to go on the elliptical machine." Augh.

Also, right now I really want wine, but I suspect that way lies disaster :(

In conclusion: MISHAAAAAAAAA.
aesc: (dean is srs)
I really hope you guys can see this, otherwise I screwed it up and will have to repost. If you can, hey, I have all (well, 98%) of my HP, SGA, and SPN fic handily indexed for you RIGHT OVER HERE. I've left out a few things, including the stuff I've written for the Nantucket 'verse, as well as the scores of drabbles that litter this place. Still, you have most of what's important in one place, so you can avoid it more effectively!

So that's one of the things I've been doing. The other is this, depicted in cartoon form for your amusement and edification:

dogbath )

The last thing I've been doing is contemplating the amazingness that is girl!Dean. Honestly, the only way Dean Winchester could be more awesome than he is is if he'd been born a woman.
aesc: (Default)
Cas-related and other things )
aesc: (Default)
Long, exhausting conference was long and exhausting. But I'm back now, hurray, and I figured to preserve my year of diligence in recording my reactions to SPN episodes, I should write up the finale. I ended up completely chickening out and waiting until I got back from le conference so I could capslock/seek consolation from Trin, and also I decided to cling to Schroedinger's Cas a bit longer. (Schroedinger's Cas, if you aren't familiar with the theory, holds that an unobserved Cas exists in a state of pure probability as to his aliveness or not-aliveness.) Anyway, I watched the episode on Sunday, and was possibly not in the right frame of mind to process it all right away.

What I have here is really just a brief list of stuff I liked/didn't like, but mostly musing on the ending in general and ways of storytelling. Also, before you continue, I haven't really read any episode reactions, so some (possibly a great deal) of this may be redundant. Still, should you be inspired to comment, despite this being almost a week delayed, please observe the following:

1.) No wank. Seriously, no wank.
2.) No unmitigated creator-hate. If you're going to bitch about something, you have to write about something you liked.
3.) No S6 spoilers, please. I know some are out there, and I know what some of them are, but still.
4.) No wank.

all road trips, even great ones, have to end... or do they? )
aesc: (dean is srs)
You guys you guys even if you don't watch SPN, you really really really need to check out [personal profile] newkidfan's completely, totally, and in all other ways amazing vid!

Family business (Dean/Cas) PG13/R
AU vid, in which... damn it, just saying "Dean is an FBI agent and Cas is an assassin on a mission" doesn't do the concept justice. But I will say that I knew for a fact it would make [profile] 22by7 and [personal profile] trinityofone very happy, and the only thing that would make me happier is if this actually existed as a series. Because, yes.



My very minor contributions were the title and the cover art. You can see the full-sized piece at Mel's, but I will put it here as well for my own reference.



he put on the garment of vengeance )

So yes, GO LOOK AT THE VID GO LOOK AT THE VID.

.in other news: I'll try to have some kind of brief write-up of 5.22, along with a Casifesto update very soon. Right now my brain is kind of distracted with the distressing amount of work I have to do before I go home for the summer, and trying not to give into the urge to do the Dean/Cas BigBang, because it's not like I don't have ten million other things to do gaaah.

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aesc

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