aesc: (Default)
aesc ([personal profile] aesc) wrote2011-11-14 11:16 pm

hey

So, yeah, I've not really been around much lately. My life this past year has more or less been a total fail, and even its successes haven't meant much. Mostly I've spent the year being severely depressed and self-isolating, even for a person with severe depression, and since everything I would have posted after December would have been along the lines of "My life sucks and I want to die whine whine moan complain," I honestly didn't see the point in posting much. Or, you know, at all. On the bright side, you've basically been spared a year or so of whiny, useless posts.

I have my doctorate now, for what it's worth, and that's about it.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the vast majority of the energy needed to do fandom the way I'd been doing it, and while I miss the community, I don't really miss the wank and the drama and the demand to keep producing stuff to feel like a worthwhile person. I've kind of moved on over to AO3 and dabbling in XMFC fic (don't even get me started on SPN, please), but mostly as a distraction from finishing my dissertation and trying not to think about what I'm going to have to find to do with myself.

This was not the "this is my first post back" post I planned on making. I don't even know if I will be back, in any meaningful sense.

But hi anyway. I hope you all are doing well and are happy.
grammarwoman: (Default)

[personal profile] grammarwoman 2011-11-15 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations on your mighty achievement! *applause*

I'm very sorry to hear that this year has been so hard on you, and that fandom is not a good place for you right now. I hope all the OTW/AO3 battles going on don't exacerbate it.
siria: (p&p - lizzy)

[personal profile] siria 2011-11-15 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, Dr Aitch! ♥♥ It is very nice to see you around!
sage: Still of Natasha Romanova from Iron Man 2 (Default)

[personal profile] sage 2011-11-15 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats on the doctorate! I hope things begin to look up for you very, very soon!
chagrined: DC comics: Bart Allen hugging Max Mercury (bart max)

[personal profile] chagrined 2011-11-15 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats on the doctorate, and *hugs*
mrkinch: Erik reaching back for Charles as they walk a park path in late autumn (Erik and Charles)

[personal profile] mrkinch 2011-11-15 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Welcome back! I missed you a lot, and just hope that you'll be able to remain occasionally visible.*massive hugs*
cathexys: XMFC: Charles and Erik on Lincoln Memorial steps (charles/erik (by megan moonlight))

[personal profile] cathexys 2011-11-15 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Congrats!!!!

It's good to hear from you, whether you'll be back fannishly or not. We missed you!
kass: white cat; "kass" (Default)

[personal profile] kass 2011-11-15 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry things have been so hard. I'm glad to hear your voice again.

Be kind to yourself. *gentle hug*
the_oscar_cat: (sga - nantucket)

[personal profile] the_oscar_cat 2011-11-15 11:47 am (UTC)(link)
HUGE SQUISHY HUG for what sounds like a really rough year.

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for the doctorate. That is a massive year.

I hope things improve for you very soon. You are lovely and deserve every happiness.

xxx
wildestranger: (Default)

[personal profile] wildestranger 2011-11-15 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Congratulations on achieving the giant hat of cleverness! I hope everything else will get better now that that is done. The concept of free time might emerge again, even.

I am looking forward to more of your xmfc dabbling. :)
watersword: Keira Knightley, in Pride and Prejudice (2007), turning her head away from the viewer, the word "elizabeth" written near (Default)

[personal profile] watersword 2011-11-15 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I will look forward to you feeling better and finding your fannish happy place, my dear.
merrily: Mac (Default)

[personal profile] merrily 2011-11-15 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry your year sucked, nice to hear from you, and hey! Dr. Aesc! Way to go!
seleneheart: (Default)

[personal profile] seleneheart 2011-11-15 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
First, congrats on your achievement!

Second, we'll always be here, with a cup of hot tea or a cold beer, if that suits you better!
cathalin: (Wildflowers)

[personal profile] cathalin 2011-11-16 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
Oh man, I've missed you! I know you may not really be ~around, but I'm glad to know you're feeling well enough to report in. I'm really sorry it's been such a tough year.:( *gentle hugs*
ainsley: (Default)

[personal profile] ainsley 2011-12-06 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Congratulations, and I hope better comes for you soon.
tropes: (Default)

[personal profile] tropes 2012-11-03 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey! Was just thinking of you! Hope you're well.