how to flirt: discussion questions

[aesc]

Flirting class offered to German computer geeks.

Questions for class discussion:
What are the odds Rodney ends up in this class, by one means or another? (sheafrotherdon credits this to Jeannie's interference)
What are the odds that the scruffy guy in the math doctoral program isn't in it, because he's absurdly hot and sucks in grads, undergrads, and faculty like an exceptionally disheveled black hole?
What are the odds that such a story will end happily?

In other news: I'm still about six weeks behind on reading and commenting, but I'm getting there ♥ Look out, inboxes of the world.

I also got caught up on SPN S4. Overall I like it--I'm quite enamored of Castiel (Misha Collins come to meeee...), but I really really really wish the writers would ease up on the bitch/skank/whore references to Ruby and other demons that are gendered as female. YES, we get it, women are demonic, horrible, and sexually promiscuous, you can stop now writers, kthx.

Also, my parents' computer is being whiny and not letting me download the last SGA episode. WTF COMPUTER.

Comments

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

*COUGH* TOTALLY OFF-TOPIC, BUT I JUST SAW darsynia USING AN AWESOME TODD FIXODENT ICON BY YOU, AND OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU JUST MADE THAT ICON FOR DARSY OR IF IT IS GANKABLE. (WOULD CREDIT, OBVSLY.)

HEH, MAYBE JOHN IS THE ONE TEACHING THE FLIRTING CLASS? XD XD XD OR MAYBE AS PART OF THE CLASS, THEY PAIR THE STUDENTS UP W/ VOLUNTEERS FROM OUTSIDE THE CLASS WHO ARE ALREADY WELL-VERSED IN FLIRTING, FOR THEM TO ~PRACTICE~ WITH. ORSOMETHING.

[spacemonkymafia.livejournal.com]

Uh... *loves the volunteer bit* OMG.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Heh, John sacrifices himself for the greater good (or sex with Rodney) yet again! Oh, John :D

[aesc.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU CAN TOTALLY USE IT, IT IS FREE FOR ALL NEFARIOUS PURPOSES.

dogeared AND I WERE KIND OF THINKING THAT MAYBE JOHN, BEING A FREAK AND A WEIRDO, WOULD TOTALLY NOT GET RODNEY'S HAWT TEXTBOOK-GUARANTEED MOVES (SINCE HE NEVER SEES IT COMING) AND RODNEY WOULD FINALLY BE ALL, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THIS IS MY FINAL EXAM, GETTING YOU TO GO ON AN ACTUAL DATE WITH ME, AND THEN JOHN IS ALL "OH, OKAY THEN."

AND THEN THEY HAVE SEX.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA AWWWWWWW. THAT IS SO CUTE. I LOVE THE IDEA OF JOHN BEING COMPLETELY IMPERVIOUS TO RODNEY'S TEXTBOOK-PERFECT FLIRTING GENIUS! ALL OF RODNEY'S NEWFOUND SUAVENESS WOULD AMOUNT TO NAUGHT, AND HE WOULD END UP RETURNING BACK TO HIS OLD BLUNT WAYS ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT JOHN ACTUALLY REACTED TO AND ~LIKED~ THOSE! AND THEN THE FLIRTING CLASS INSTRUCTOR WOULD YELL AT RODNEY AND THREATEN TO FLUNK HIM FOR FAILING TO ADHERE TO THE PROPER GUIDELINES, AND RODNEY WOULD BECOME INCREDIBLY INDIGNANT AND BE ALL, "~EXCUSE~ ME?" AND THEN HE GOES AND KISSES JOHN HARD AGAINST THE MOUTH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, AND AFTERWARDS JOHN STANDS THERE DAZED, AND RODNEY'S ALL, "I THINK IT IS OBVIOUS THAT I DESERVE AN A IN THIS COURSE. ALSO, IF I HAD MORE TIME MAYBE I'D BOTHER TRYING TO COMPLETELY REWRITE YOUR HORRENDOUS TEXTBOOK ON FLIRTING, B/C ~OBVIOUSLY~ MY EXPERIMENTAL RESULTS HAVE DISPROVED YOUR THEORY THAT YOURS IS THE ONLY VALID METHOD OF FLIRTING, BUT YOU KNOW, I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR SOMETHING THAT TRIVIAL, SINCE I'LL BE BUSY WORKING ON MY GRAND UNIFIED THEORY INSTEAD. COME ON, JOHN."

AND THEN NEXT SEMESTER, RODNEY FINDS OUT THE UNIVERSITY HAS ASSIGNED HIM TO TEACH THE FLIRTING SEMINAR, DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND FROM STUDENTS. HE'S ALL CHAGRINED AND FLUSTERED, AND JOHN JUST SMILES AND KISSES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD AND SAYS, "WELL, YOU KINDA BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF."

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

WOULD READ AND ALSO RECOMMEND TO OTHERS!

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

HEEHEE, I WOULD DEFINITELY READ IT TOO! *COUGH COUGH* (OR, YOU KNOW, JUST KEEP SEMI-WRITING IT HERE IN THE COMMENTS WITH AESC, HAHA.)

[aesc.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES THAT IS EXACTLY HOW IT WILL GO.

AND OF COURSE THE FLIRTING INSTRUCTOR DOES NOT SAY THAT THINGS LIKE SLOUCHING INTO RODNEY'S PERSONAL SPACE, HAVING BEERS ON THE BACK PATIO OF GRAD STUDENT HOUSING, COCKBLOCKING RODNEY'S ONE ATTEMPT AT THAT ANTHRO STUDENT AND SOUPING UP TOY RACE CARS COUNTS AS FLIRTING IN JOHN'S SHEPPARD'S FREAKISH PSYCHE, SO RODNEY IS COMPLETELY FLUMMOXED AND V. V. ANNOYED BY THE TIME THE END OF THE SEMESTER COMES AROUND AND HE FINALLY HAS TO DEMONSTRATE TO THE STUPID INSTRUCTOR THE COMPLETE MORONICITY OF THEIR OPERATING ASSUMPTIONS.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

DESPITE HIMSELF AND THE FACT THAT HE ~KNOWS~ THIS FLIRTING STUFF IS ALL JUST A TRIVIAL DISTRACTION FROM HIS MORE IMPORTANT WORK IN PHYSICS, RODNEY CANNOT HELP BUT BE DRAWN TO REWRITING THE SUPPOSED "RULES" OF FLIRTING. ONE DAY, HE GIVES IN TO TEMPTATION AND STARTS UP A NEW LAB NOTEBOOK, WHICH HE HAS UNOFFICIALLY TITLED IN HIS HEAD, "THE JOHN SHEPPARD SCHOOL OF FLIRTING: A CASE STUDY." (HE IS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE HE IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO PUBLISH THE PAPER WHEN HE FINALLY COMPLETES IT.) AND HE KEEPS STUDIOUS NOTES ON EVERY POTENTIALLY FLIRTY THING JOHN DOES, AND SOMETIMES WHEN HE FEELS A MOMENT OF COGNITIVE DISSOCIATION WHERE HE REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE AND JOHN ARE ACTUALLY TOGETHER, HE OPENS THE NOTEBOOK UP AND REREADS SOME OF WHAT HE HAS WRITTEN THERE AND THINKS TO HIMSELF, "WOW, THAT IDIOT REALLY ~DOES~ LOVE ME." [RODNEY: "THAT IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING THAT CHEESY. HMPH."]

THE HARD PART IS KEEPING JOHN FROM NOTICING THE NOTEBOOK. RODNEY ACTUALLY HAD TO DESTROY THE ORIGINAL COPY B/C JOHN BEGAN ASKING HIM WHAT HE WAS ALWAYS SCRIBBLING, AND NOW RODNEY TAKES GREAT CARE TO WRITE EVERYTHING IN THREE LAYERS OF ENCRYPTION.

(OF COURSE, JOHN DOESN'T LET ON THAT HE BROKE RODNEY'S ENCRYPTION SCHEME AFTER A WEEK AND A HALF. BUT JOHN, YOU SEE, KEEPS ALL HIS NOTES ON RODNEY'S FLIRTING IN HIS HEAD, SO HE CAN ACCESS THEM AT ANY TIME.)

[aesc.livejournal.com]

IN THE MOMENTS WHEN HE THINKS THAT MAYBE KEEPING A NOTEBOOK ON FLIRTING WITH JOHN SHEPPARD MIGHT BE A BIT TOO NEUROTIC EVEN FOR HIM HE REMINDS HIMSELF OF THE LONG, PROUD TRADITION OF OBSERVATIONAL AND EMPIRICAL SCIENCE, AND BESIDES HE'S SURE THERE'S SOME JOURNAL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE (MAYBE LIKE A PEER-REVIEWED VERSION OF VOGUE OR WHATEVER, OR MAYBE GQ) THAT WILL TAKE IT, COS IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE ANOTHER PUBLICATION ON HIS ADMITTEDLY VERY IMPRESSIVE CV, AND MAYBE HE COULD EVEN WRITE A BOOK.

ALTHOUGH THAT WOULD BE A HORRIBLE IDEA, HE REALIZES, BECAUSE THEN OTHER PEOPLE WOULD START FLIRTING WITH JOHN, AND THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS HE PUTS IN THE "POSSIBLE DANGERS OF ENLIGHTENING THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY AS TO THE PROPER METHOD OF FLIRTING WITH JOHN SHEPPARD" LIST. ONE DAY AFTER HE'S BROKEN THE ENCRYPTION, JOHN FINDS THE LIST AND TRIES TO FIND A WAY OF TELLING RODNEY THAT SOMETIMES THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY JUST ISN'T READY FOR CERTAIN DISCOVERIES.

[hilarytamar.livejournal.com]

Please tell me you both accept bribes. And then tell me what I need to send and where.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

I LIKE COOKIES! LOL

[hilarytamar.livejournal.com]

What kind and where? *readies cookie tin & packing supplies*

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

HAHA, WELL, I THINK WE HAVE ACTUALLY FINISHED FOR NOW, SO I'M GOOD. *POINTS DOWN* ;D BUT THX FOR THE THOUGHT!

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

AFTER A FEW MORE ADDITIONS TO ~THE LIST~ ("J.S.'S UNDERGRADS ALL FLUNK OUT OF MATH AND BECOME ENGLISH MAJORS DUE TO INABILITY TO CONCENTRATE ON PROOFS"; "ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF IN PHYSICS DEPARTMENT BEGIN POISONING R.M.'S COFFEE IN ATTEMPT TO SECURE J.S. FOR THEMSELVES") RODNEY BEGINS TO BELIEVE MORE AND MORE STRONGLY THAT PERHAPS HE SHOULDN'T CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS AVENUE OF RESEARCH AFTER ALL. HE WRITES IN THE NOTEBOOK LESS AND LESS FREQUENTLY UNTIL FINALLY HE ALMOST FORGETS ABOUT IT, TUCKED AWAY IN THE BOTTOM OF ONE OF THE DRAWERS IN HIS OFFICE DESK.

THEN, ONE DAY RODNEY ENTERS HIS OFFICE TO FIND THE NOTEBOOK, ~THAT NOTEBOOK~, SITTING OPEN ON HIS DESK IN HIS LOCKED OFFICE, AND IMMEDIATELY PANICS. HE RUSHES OVER TO THE NOTEBOOK AND SEES, IN CRISP GREEN INK AND A FAMILIAR PENMANSHIP, PRINTED ON A NEW PAGE:

HOW TO TELL IF J.S. IS SERIOUS ABOUT FLIRTING
SUBJECT IS FLIRTING WITH DR. R.M.

CASES IN WHICH BEHAVIORS WHICH HAVE BEEN AS IDENTIFIED AS FLIRTING IN J.S. ACTUALLY MEAN NOTHING
EVERYONE ELSE

AND, RODNEY VOWS THAT LATER, HE'S GOING TO DEMAND TO KNOW HOW JOHN BROKE INTO HIS OFFICE, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, ~BROKE HIS ENCRYPTION~ (WHICH, YEAH, RODNEY KNOWS JOHN'S KIND OF A MATH WHIZ AND ALL, BUT REALLY, ~THREE LAYERS OF ENCRYPTION~, AND MAYBE THIS SHOULDN'T TURN RODNEY ON AS MUCH AS IT DOES), BUT AT THE MOMENT (RODNEY AND JOHN SOMEHOW BOTH SQUISHED TOGETHER ON THE NARROW COUCH IN JOHN'S OFFICE, PANTING HEAVILY INTO EACH OTHERS' MOUTHS), HE'S OBVIOUSLY GOT MORE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO.

(AND PERHAPS, YOU KNOW, THIS COULD LEAD TO A FUTURE WORK: 1001 WAYS TO MAKE JOHN SHEPPARD ORGASM. NOT THAT HE WOULD EVER DREAM OF PUBLISHING THAT ONE, AHEM.)

[aesc.livejournal.com]

LATER, AFTER RODNEY HAS SCARED OFF THE SIMPERING UNDERGRADUATE WHO KNOCKED ON JOHN'S DOOR ASKING ABOUT NEXT WEEK'S EXAM AND IS MASHED UP AGAINST JOHN ON THE INCREDIBLY NARROW COUCH, STICKY AND DELIGHTED WITH JOHN AND THE WORLD IN GENERAL, HE DOES ASK ABOUT THE ENCRYPTION AND IF JOHN KNEW HOW INCREDIBLY HOT THAT WAS, AND JOHN SHRUGS IN THAT ALSO MADDENINGLY HOT WAY OF HIS AND SAYS, WELL, I KNOW YOU LIKE MATH... AND I DON'T DECRYPT JUST ANYONE'S STUFF, YOU KNOW.

AND RODNEY HAS TO PUSH HIM BACK DOWN INTO THE COUCH AGAIN, AND SOMEWHERE BETWEEN JOHN'S TONGUE IN HIS EAR AND JOHN'S HANDS DOWN HIS BOXERS, DECIDES HE MIGHT JUST COMMIT HIS NOTEBOOKS TO POSTERITY.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

(I THINK THAT IS A GOOD ENDING, Y/Y?)

P.S. I LOVE YOU :D

[aesc.livejournal.com]

(I THINK SO YIS!)

*HIGH-FIVES YOU!*

[pollitt.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

You both are FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC.

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh. I LOVE YOUR BRAIN! ♥

[aesc.livejournal.com]

And my brain loves YOU!

*sidles up to young!John*

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

*young!John waggles brows invitingly*

OR HE WOULD IF HE WAS NOT STUCK IN THE POOL HOUSE *THISCLOSE* TO GETTING SOME!

[aesc.livejournal.com]

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO JENNS ABOUT THAT IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!!!

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

I AM JUST SAYING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD BACK A SISTER UP OR SOMETHING!

[rivrea.livejournal.com]

Flirting class offered to German computer geeks.

Heh! There should have been a flirting course for shy English majors at my university too: How to smile at someone in the library. How to find somewhat obscure love poems to impress your object of desire. How to avoid using quotations from Shakespeare's sonnets that are actually about venereal disease, etc.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

*siiiigh* Yes, yes, I agree to that! I know I could use the help... and possibly an infusion of spine :D

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! Flirting. Class.

omg, WRITE IT! *g*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Well, it is now in the Notebook, where all potential stories go :D I still have a big project I want to get finished before I write anything else, but I will do my best to hustle along :D

(Although if anyone else wants to write this, I am by no means opposed *g*)

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

My head is sort of spinning right now with everything I want to write. My "ideas list" is growing even bigger than it was (really, really a big list), and I'm sort of racing around between three or so different fics I'm in the early stages of writing. And some of the little prompts thingies posted today, I want to do those, and wishes flashfic, and, and...and I have no time/energy due to RL.

Overall, a good problem, though, in that lots of ideas are spinning around.:)

I like the sound of your Big Project -- yay!!

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Yes, alas, the number of things in my notebook vastly outnumbers the things I actually have time to write. Thank you, stupid RL.

In my utopia, fanfic would pay very well :D

And ohhh I love your icon! Such a lovely smile *happysigh*

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

I'm quite enamored of Castiel

Does that means that there is a chance in hell or heaven that you'll write Dean/Castiel fic? Have you seen the smoldering looks he gives Dean?
Hee!

[aesc.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D There is a chance of this!! I was doodling over something today while I was editing a paper, so perhaps soon :D

I just re-watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester," and eeee, I do love Castiel a whole lot. Oh, Misha Collins and your lovely eyes... SIGH.

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

\o/
This pleases me a LOT.
Castiel (and Misha) strikes again! I swear that man, Misha, I mean,is unbelievable. Did you know that he's a published poet? And that he worked at the White House in his youth, and he loves making thigs with woods and he just, just...
*sighs*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Did you know that he's a published poet? And that he worked at the White House in his youth, and he loves making thigs with wood

Siiiiigh... Oh, goodness :D

I was really happy to learn that if SPN is renewed for a fifth season he will probably be a regular (and that he is going to maybe be around this season for more episodes than originally thought??) That is the hard part about really liking someone who's just going to be around for a handful of episodes... and I can see myself getting quite attached to Castiel and his crazy angelic psychology :D

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

I can see myself getting quite attached to Castiel

I can see that. Personally, I would commit the spn people to a psychiatric institution if they ever get rid of Castiel because, dude, he is one of the best things this season has brought us. It seems that he's here to stay, though, and I can only cross my fingers that indeed he will.

Castiel and his crazy angelic psychology :D
*falils* he's the same man angel who can threaten Dean back to hell and then covets a simple kiss. He's most fascinating to write *nods*.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

*is rather intrigued!* :D :D :D

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

I'd say that the odds are, in some universe, pretty damn good!

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, that looks like a young Joe there :>

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

Yeah, wasn't he lovely?
JF probably wasn't aware what a gift his appearance as gay Lionel in *Danielle Steel's* novel TV movie will be for his fans in the coming future. He was so deliciously sweet. Hmmm.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, sweet, sweet Joe! *siighs*

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

I WANT THAT FIC.

ALSO. I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE WATCHING SPN.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

HA HA bitter_crimson AND I ARE SORT-OF COWRITING IT IN COMMENTS UP THERE.

ALSO. I WATCHED SPN THROUGH THE END OF S2 AND A BIT OF THE START OF S3 BUT THEN THE WRITERS STRIKE STARTED AND IT SORT OF FELL OFF MY RADAR... PICKED IT BACK UP NOT TOO LONG AGO AND MAINLINED ALL OF S4 THE OTHER DAY SO YEAH I AM WATCHIN' IT!

[pollitt.livejournal.com]

Heeee!

Can I just I LOVE YOUR BRAIN.

For SERIOUS.

LOVE.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D bitter_crimson and I have capslocked a bit of commentfic for it! :D

[pollitt.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I read! FANTASTIC.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

\o/ *snorfles!*