aesc | .spn 4.20; or, I will not say anything until after the cut

INCOHERENCE AND KEYBOARD MASHING GOES HERE.

ALSO: MISHA COLLINS OWNS THE PART OF MY SOUL NOT PROMISED TO STUDENT LOAN COMPANIES.

Okay, Jimmy-related flailing first: I loved Jimmy. I just... I don't know! I love him and his family, and the way his faith hits that weird, mystical high when he hears Cas's voice in the TV and radio and then fails when he's given his life back and he realizes (like Sam) that Heaven is more terrifying and complicated than he ever thought, that angels are what they are (chained to a comet oh my god), that walking arm-in-arm with divinity has its price. And the end, when he begs for Claire's life, even knowing what it will cost him... EXCUSE ME WHILE MY HEART BREAKS, OKAY? In my head I imagine Cas going back to his house, or to wherever Amelia and Claire have gone, and making sure they're safe, because he promised.

(And Castiel's offer to send Jimmy to his true home." Heaven? Paradise? There are older, and probably by now, completely obscure ideas regarding the levels of Heaven, that suggest when you die and are good enough to escape Hell (and later, Purgatory), you go to an interim Paradise, where things are awesome, just not as awesome as they wll be after the Judgement, when you get to go to actual Heaven. I don't think that's at play here, but I find the nebulousness of the afterlife in SPN terribly fascinating.)

Castiel: Oh god, Cas. I have the feeling that he received a stern reprimand up in Heaven, and oh god when he stalked away from Dean. Was it ever resolved what they had to speak about? How Castiel maybe suspected he was in for trouble from his superiors? I think that seems to be the case, given the anti-angel symbols on the wall. That he knew what Sam was doing? (That was my hypothesis, totally blown out of the water *SIGH* Hypothesis non fingo from now on, I swear.) He is also, omg, one hell of a sneaky bastard, isn't he? Possessing Claire like that and being totally sly.

Dean: One of the running, ominous themes of this season is Dean's exhaustion, how tired he is. I can't get over that, how the fire's slowly going out of him, how he already seems to know Sam's moved way beyond his control--Sam's got that John-like fixation, something Dean doesn't have, and that he can't have now. Cas walking out on him (excuse me while my heart breaks yet again...) one more tentative source of support vanishes, and there's only Bobby now. We've discussed on previous episode reviews how Dean's having everything stripped away from him as a precondition for his role in the apocalypse, and that inevitability, and the implication that Dean is going to have nothing (no family he can recognize anymore, no friends, not even angelic sort-of friends/tentative allies)... that's just, oh god :( :( :(

Sam: Oh god no, Sam :( :( :(

And I'm sure this will draw down the fury of those who feel the entity called "Dean n' Sam" is inviolable and should never be sundered by gods nor men, but I love the way they've grown apart. Not "loved" in an evil, spiteful sort of way, but rather because their rift is, to me, what drives the apocalypse (not the other way around, although it seems like the two progressions are interconnected). And, for me, it's more compelling to some extent than the apocalypse, which is actually pretty impressive, if you think about it, beating out the end of the world.

Amelia and Claire: Amelia needs to meet Ellen, she really, seriously does. Because if anyone can help another woman cope with losing her husband to the supernatural, Ellen totally could. Now in my head: Dean gives Amelia Ellen's phone number and Amelia ends up traveling to Ellen's place (wherever that is now) and trying to come to grips with everything.

Vessel-related musings: If I was more together, I would probably have something to say about SPN's body issues, how bodies, despite being horrible icky permeable meatsuits (grah, I hate that word, but it's appropriate), really do matter--how being a vessel is in Jimmy's blood or his genes, and the same capacity is in Claire's--but I am completely wrecked by this episode. Thank you, Misha, for making me useless and incoherent yet again.

I reserve the right to revisit this episode after I get my greedy paws on a torrent. Because oh oh how I have been looking forward to this episode, and while it was quite different from the episode my brain had scripted out about 20 seconds after seeing the preview, I'm still pretty fucking blown away.

.spn 4.20; or, I will not say anything until after the cut

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