hey

[aesc]

So, yeah, I've not really been around much lately. My life this past year has more or less been a total fail, and even its successes haven't meant much. Mostly I've spent the year being severely depressed and self-isolating, even for a person with severe depression, and since everything I would have posted after December would have been along the lines of "My life sucks and I want to die whine whine moan complain," I honestly didn't see the point in posting much. Or, you know, at all. On the bright side, you've basically been spared a year or so of whiny, useless posts.

I have my doctorate now, for what it's worth, and that's about it.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the vast majority of the energy needed to do fandom the way I'd been doing it, and while I miss the community, I don't really miss the wank and the drama and the demand to keep producing stuff to feel like a worthwhile person. I've kind of moved on over to AO3 and dabbling in XMFC fic (don't even get me started on SPN, please), but mostly as a distraction from finishing my dissertation and trying not to think about what I'm going to have to find to do with myself.

This was not the "this is my first post back" post I planned on making. I don't even know if I will be back, in any meaningful sense.

But hi anyway. I hope you all are doing well and are happy.

Comments

[grammarwoman]

Congratulations on your mighty achievement! *applause*

I'm very sorry to hear that this year has been so hard on you, and that fandom is not a good place for you right now. I hope all the OTW/AO3 battles going on don't exacerbate it.

[siria]

Hello, Dr Aitch! ♥♥ It is very nice to see you around!

[sage]

Congrats on the doctorate! I hope things begin to look up for you very, very soon!

[chagrined]

Congrats on the doctorate, and *hugs*

[mrkinch]

Welcome back! I missed you a lot, and just hope that you'll be able to remain occasionally visible.*massive hugs*

[cathexys]

Congrats!!!!

It's good to hear from you, whether you'll be back fannishly or not. We missed you!

[kass]

I'm so sorry things have been so hard. I'm glad to hear your voice again.

Be kind to yourself. *gentle hug*

[the_oscar_cat]

HUGE SQUISHY HUG for what sounds like a really rough year.

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for the doctorate. That is a massive year.

I hope things improve for you very soon. You are lovely and deserve every happiness.

xxx

[wildestranger]

Congratulations on achieving the giant hat of cleverness! I hope everything else will get better now that that is done. The concept of free time might emerge again, even.

I am looking forward to more of your xmfc dabbling. :)

[watersword]

I will look forward to you feeling better and finding your fannish happy place, my dear.

[merrily]

Sorry your year sucked, nice to hear from you, and hey! Dr. Aesc! Way to go!

[seleneheart]

First, congrats on your achievement!

Second, we'll always be here, with a cup of hot tea or a cold beer, if that suits you better!

[cathalin]

Oh man, I've missed you! I know you may not really be ~around, but I'm glad to know you're feeling well enough to report in. I'm really sorry it's been such a tough year.:( *gentle hugs*

[ainsley]

Congratulations, and I hope better comes for you soon.

[tropes]

Hey! Was just thinking of you! Hope you're well.