assessment

[aesc]

I'm putting 2008 down as one of the worst years on record.

Everything's falling apart: the world, my mind, my focus, other things that are trivial but have become important to me because they've been safe things, safe places to go to, and I can't even count on them now. I'm sorry I've not been around or been much of a friend, but merely existing has been difficult lately, as has been mustering up the desire to keep existing. It's all falling spectacularly to pieces, and I don't have the energy to pick the damn things up anymore.

So I'm going to hide for a while, possibly forever.

*crawls into hole*

Comments

[bmouse.livejournal.com]

This sounds like me a month and a half ago. Call your mother, call whoever you're close to. We are taught to appear invulnerable but it's ok to be needy and lean on people when we need it. The Wave comes but the Wave passes and for tomorrow to get better you have to live to tomorrow. If you can't stand to be alone with your thoughts then exercise or clean to keep yourself moving but take the first step to helping yourself as soon as you can reach a phone. It sounds like you work at a school, usually those have some kind of therapy/ counseling services attached. Make an appointment and some of the feeling may go away because at least you'll have faced a part of it and have the start of a framework to deal with it where it's not just you. Hot water bottles are a good way to fall asleep at night. Please forgive my tone, I make no claims to know what exactly you're going through and what caused it but I presume to say that I know a dimension of this feeling. I babble because I worry. Maybe what helped me can help you. I've never met you but I know you're wonderful. ::Hugs::