assessment

[aesc]

I'm putting 2008 down as one of the worst years on record.

Everything's falling apart: the world, my mind, my focus, other things that are trivial but have become important to me because they've been safe things, safe places to go to, and I can't even count on them now. I'm sorry I've not been around or been much of a friend, but merely existing has been difficult lately, as has been mustering up the desire to keep existing. It's all falling spectacularly to pieces, and I don't have the energy to pick the damn things up anymore.

So I'm going to hide for a while, possibly forever.

*crawls into hole*

Comments

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I wish I knew what to say or do.

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

*hugs you, a lot*

[tex.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}

[sffan.livejournal.com]

I know we're not close, but I'm so sorry that things are so bad for you right now. I truly hope things get better. Take all the time you need to get yourself back on track - believe me, we'll still be here when you get back.

*hugs*

[perspi.livejournal.com]

*adds my hugs to the hug pile*

*throws in a big fluffy blanket for good measure*

[piplover.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

Don't give up hope. We're here for you, and nothing is ever so bad there is no solution. Take care of yourself.

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I have been missing your presence, but was hoping it was just holiday busy-ness.

Please know that you are a wonderful person, with great worth, just in and of yourself, let alone for the joy you bring to this little world of fandom. I doubt it would mean anything to you right now, but if for any reason you want to chat, you have my email, and I'd love to. You are sorely missed.

It sounds like you're depressed; please make sure you have someone helping with that? It can make all the difference; you shouldn't have to muster all that energy by yourself.:)

[aurora]

*sends good vibes*

[lenkti.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I hope things look up soon.

[stillane.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you've got a bad case of bad things. I'm an excellent blanket fort engineer, if that helps; I find they're much more comfortable than holes, and easier to invite friends into, when it's time.

In the meanwhile, though: *hugs*

[lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com]

*passes honey into the hole*

In all seriousness, I think retreat sometimes is a good strategy. Time to regroup, etc. Virtual hugs to you!

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

2008 has sucked majorly for a number of my friends - I really hope 2009 is better. Maybe 2008 has built you up some good karma? Here's hoping. *hugs*

[bmouse.livejournal.com]

This sounds like me a month and a half ago. Call your mother, call whoever you're close to. We are taught to appear invulnerable but it's ok to be needy and lean on people when we need it. The Wave comes but the Wave passes and for tomorrow to get better you have to live to tomorrow. If you can't stand to be alone with your thoughts then exercise or clean to keep yourself moving but take the first step to helping yourself as soon as you can reach a phone. It sounds like you work at a school, usually those have some kind of therapy/ counseling services attached. Make an appointment and some of the feeling may go away because at least you'll have faced a part of it and have the start of a framework to deal with it where it's not just you. Hot water bottles are a good way to fall asleep at night. Please forgive my tone, I make no claims to know what exactly you're going through and what caused it but I presume to say that I know a dimension of this feeling. I babble because I worry. Maybe what helped me can help you. I've never met you but I know you're wonderful. ::Hugs::

[tty63.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Take care of yourself. We'll still be here when you have time and energy again. &hearts

[le-mot-mo.livejournal.com]

Oh H. No matter where you are or what you do, you'll always be a good friend. So don't apologize for that. Sometimes we all need to get away from the world for a while. Places we felt good, people we trusted-- once in a while all those things fall apart. But don't worry, they'll be reconstructed-- perhaps in a slightly different way then before, but still good. Always good.

Thank you for your lovely card and the wonderful message. If you ever come to my country, let me know because I'll be there. You're right-- we still haven't had the Austen conversation and we really should-- face to face. *hugs*

[ashkitty.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Those years happen. I'm sorry, hon.

[eledhwenlin]

*hugs*

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry things are tough. I hope you'll do what you need to do for yourself, because you are worth it.

[rinsbane.livejournal.com]

*hugs* We'll be here on the other side. And there will be another side, H.

[madeline871.livejournal.com]

You don't know me. I'm 99.99% certain we'll probably never meet in real life, so it makes it difficult to believe the sincerity in what I'm about to say.

I've had some pretty crappy days in 2008 myself, but I can say with absolute certainty that you have made some of my bad days better. Your writing, your art, other things in your journal. It may not be the reason you did it, but it happened anyway. Please, please know how appreciated you are, and how thankful I am.

[mabiana.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[patk.livejournal.com]

You sound very exhausted and the wording of your entry leaves me with the impression that you really need someone who takes some of it from your shoulders, someone who cares and is willing to help. Please, just keep breathing for now and try to gather enough mental and emotional strength to call someone who is physically close enough to meet you face-to-face. Even if there isn't instant help, sharing how you feel with somebody who's physically close enough to talk to you is a first step. If you don't feel you have a relative or a friend emotionally close enough for that, don't hesitate to turn to a professional helper. There are options, even if you can't see them right now or if they don't hold much appeal at the moment. Things *will* get better but you have to hang on to see it happen. I know, I don't have the right to butt in like that but your entry has me very worried.

[tardis80.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

*hugs you!!* One of my small comforts has been thinking of tardis!verse, with boys lounging in the sun on the pier, and cats lazing next to them ♥

[stillwaters11.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you've had such a bad year. I hope it all turns around for you soon. *hugs*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

*hugs* The corner has turned on 2008, so there's that at least :) Maybe writing 2009 on all my stuff will help shed some of the negativity :)