aesc | .two fic links, more Beokitteh

For reasons of economy:

1: Written for

mcsmooch: Office Hours (John/Rodney, Restoration Hardware AU), in which we learn that Rodney's second base is comprehensively stolen.

2: THEY ARE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Our fandom brings the crack, and it is good.

3: Because some of you seemed to like it, more Beokitteh, the next twenty-eight lines or so, cut for length.

He haded bebe borned aftur,
leetle in litterbox (can has alliterashin!), taht Ceiling Cat
sended to maek teh pplz lol; Ceiling Cat had knowingz
they had no cud has had Ruler Cat
long tiem. HovrCat, aka Hed Boss Cat
pwner of glory, gaved him graet cheezburgrs:
Beokitteh (iz not saem Beokitteh as pome) waz famis
Scyld's kitteh in Scedeland, wharevur taht bes.
Lissen up, srsly: leetle kitteh must be gud kitteh,
give c00l stuffs whan he is young kitteh,
so's his frendz is can be loyil
whan he growz up, whan thar is teh fightingz,
an be c00l to teh pplz an teh kitteh must can b
havin props from all teh kittehs everywhar, rly.
Den Scyld go awei whan Ceiling Cat sed so,
teh ver brave kitteh to teh kitteh baskit in sky.
Teh kittehs broghted him 2 teh waeter
but kittehs NO WANT WAETER but dis kitteh sed WANT
whan he wuz in teh Scylding-cats, rulin em;
he wuz in charge long tiem.
Thar wuz big boat on teh beachez (not failboat)
all icy n stuffs, pimped out liek woah!
Teh kittehs broghted their <3ed Boss Cat,
aka Ring-giving Cat, into teh boat,
an put him by the mast, rly. Thar wuz c00l stuffs
broghted from long wai awai, an purty bukkits.
d00d, wuz bestest ship evar, srsly!!1! and haded
swurds n guns n armors whut u wears 4 teh fightingz,
an mor swurds n sheelds n stuffz.

Beokitteh !2-40a

Afterwards a son was born to him,
young in the dwellings, whom God sent
as a comfort for the people; he knew the suffering
which they had before endured, lordless,
for a long time. The lord of Life, the ruler
of glory gave to him worldly riches;
Beowulf Scyld's son was famous
his glory spread widely throughout Scedeland.
So must a young man do good deeds
with valuable gifts in his father's keeping
so that in turn companions remain
by him when war comes,
faithful to the people; one must
be rich in praise among every nation.
Then at the fated hour Scyld, the powerful one,
journeyed to the Lord's protection.
They carried him to the foam-flecked shore,
the loyal companions, as he himself ordered
when the friend of the Scyldings ruled with words;
the beloved lord of the land ruled them long.
At the dock stood a curve-prowed ship,
icy and travel-ready, the ship of a prince.
Then they brought the beloved prince,
the giver of rings, to the ship's center,
the great one by the mast. Many treasures, rich
things from far away were brought there;
I have never heard of a fairer ship equipped
with weapons and armor,
swords and breastplates.

Beowulf 12-40a

In other news: I don't know why I haven't done this before now, but I downloaded Trillian, so I'm reliably aesc36 on MSN, Yahoo, and AIM.

.two fic links, more Beokitteh

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