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1. Totally stolen from telesilla and slian_martreb: The thing is, when people look for stories, they always make it sound like badfic. Now, often that's because it really is badfic, but sometimes it's good and they just suck at describing the story.

So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to summarize badly any one (or more!) of my stories and I'll try to guess which it is. You could even pretend you don't remember the pairing or fandom to make it harder to guess. [links to various fics are in tags or linked from here]

2. Apparently there's been something like crack in the air, because amberlynne and I were talking about this very thing today, and crack combined with my very great desire not to do work produced this.

aesc: One of these days, maybe when I'm drunk, I'm going to post a totally random summary there and see if someone finds a link for a story matching it.*

I would not be surprised at all if someone did.

amberlynne: There was this blue fish/cat thing that granted wishes on planet where clouds were purple and John wanted Rodney to be a backpack but John really wanted him to be a purse so they compromised and Rodney was a messenger bag and John got to be on American Idol with that one French guy and Ralph from Happy Days.

... yes. And then there's this. Mercifully short (~880 words); vaguely John/Rodney, but in a disturbing way

( 'I have never seen the fishcat myself, but according to the people of MX1-458, who got it from MX3-144, who learned of it from MX3-90210, it has the property of granting one wish to those who ask it.' )

*= I would never actually do this, even if drunk. I'm nowhere near coordinated enough to manage the keyboard and mouse, much less post anything.

Is there anyone out there who could give me a quick second opinion on a piece of art? *shifty look* There is one part of it that is especially vexing and I'm not sure how to fix it, or even if it needs fixing. If you could comment here with your email, I can send you a draft .png file and a fuller explanation of what I can't figure out. Awesomecakes!

Now for another really cool Christmas present, this one from a friend/colleague: Arielle Eckstut and Dennis Ashton, Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen (New York 2001). Seriously, this is tremendously funny and yet horrifying, as I love Austen but cannot extend my imagination to the goings-on after I close her books.

[If you consider Austen involate, please go no further.]

( Mr Collins's phantasies )

In other news: I should probably do work at some point today, instead of wandering around aimlessly. Probably.

Or maybe I could post a photo that makes me very happy to look upon:



.eta: A pair of them! Apparently, I only go squooshy over babies I don't actually have to encounter in real life, because this sketch by _kiden is so adorable, I have no words for it.

Also, why is it my dog lies inert on the couch all morning, dead to the world, yet the second I start sweeping jumps up and manages to be in exactly the place I need to sweep?

Title: Displacement
By: HF
Email: aesc36 @gmail.com
Pairing: D/M
Rating/Warnings: PG13/Rish for naughty words, vaguely humorous.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine.
Advertisements: Eyefucking. UST. New Tech Guy POV. Coincidentally for wordclaim50 challenge #12, "humor," though it was written mostly because stillane thought it would be a great idea.

Notes: Some time ago, stillane and I noticed that New Tech Guy (who does have an actual name) was the target of Danny and Martin's displaced UST, and stillane suggested a fic should be written about it.

( Displacement )

Title: It's Alive
By: HF
Email: aesc36 @gmail.com
Pairing: D/M. In a strange and disturbing way.
Ratings/Warnings: PG13-ish?
Disclaimer: Without a Trace belongs to other people. Alas.
Advertisements: crack!fic written for nekosmuse's International Manny Month Challenge.
Previous parts: 01; 02; 03

Notes: Apologies for the delay between posts. It's been one thing or another here for the past week... and will continue to be for the next month and a half :/ Feh.

( Vivian Johnson was suspicious. )

Now, as lovely as this evening has been (thank you, Neko), I'm going to sign off and maybe go to bed. Am so very tired. *collapse*

Title: It's Alive
By: HF
Email: aesc36 @gmail.com
Pairing: D/M. In a strange and disturbing way.
Ratings/Warnings: PG13-ish?
Disclaimer: Without a Trace belongs to other people. Alas.
Advertisements: crack!fic written for nekosmuse's International Manny Month Challenge.
Previous parts: 01

Notes: And somehow, between the stuff I scribbled in a notebook and the computer, this fic got much longer. I'm so sad.

( Just a headache. Just a nightmare. Just someone else’s very bad drug trip. )

Post-fic notes that have nothing to do with WaT: Can I just say... Oh my God Brokeback Mountain? *explodes with the cowboy love*